Today, I Am Not Okay

March 31, 2020

Today, I filled an entire notebook page with my feelings and emotions. I am usually the who encourages everyone else to stay positive; trying to reassure people that everything is going to be okay. I guess I thought I had my own emotions in check. I am convinced that finding a way to be positive through this is important and beneficial, but today, I am not okay.

Today, I am anxious...at least, I think that's what I'm feeling. I am tense from head to toe. I want to cry. I feel so sad, and I just can't shake it. 

I know and I believe in the power of prayer, and I have and I will continue to pray.  But today, I needed to give how I am feeling a name. Today, I needed to validate for myself that I am not okay and that it is okay to not be okay.

Today, I filled an entire notebook page with words that express my feelings and emotions. I am not sure how much of it I will post in the notebooking group. But, writing it down helped...some.

Frazzled

March 30, 2020

Frazzled

Frazzled because

Frazzled because there

Frazzled because there were

Frazzled because there were so

Frazzled because there were so many

Frazzled because there were so many things

Frazzled because there were so many things to

Frazzled because there were so many things to understand

Frazzled because there were so many things to understand, plan,

Frazzled because there were so many things to understand, plan, and

Frazzled because there were so many things to understand, plan, and think

Frazzled because there were so many things to understand, plan, and think through.

Today was officially the first day of my being "essential personnel". Oh boy, was I frazzled in the beginning! It is so good to know I am not in this alone.  I am giving myself and this whole process grace, and I am ready for tomorrow.

Family Game Night

March 29, 2020

We experienced a power outage

Late last night

We hunkered down together

By candle light

We spent a great deal of time

Playing a game

We played "Heads Up"

Yeah, that its name

Nose Blind

March 28, 2020

My husband and I are early birds. Our children, a 13 year old boy and a 21 year old girl, are not. I knew I wanted them to get some cleaning done today when they got up, so I sent them both the same text message so I wouldn't forget what to tell them.

Children-To-Do-List

1. Change the sheets on your beds.

2. "Fabreeze" your rooms and leave your doors open.

3. Eat, shower, get dressed.

4. Do laundry together or separately.

5. Clean and sweep your bathrooms.

My daughter finally got up around 1:00pm.

My son had to be awakened at 2:30pm.

My daughter had no issue taking care of her chores.

My son, on the other hand,...let's just say he was more than annoyed.

My husband and I had taken notice of his attitude, and my husband decided to engage him in conversation about it.  By the end, I was in tears. The conversation went something like this...

DAD: Tano, what's wrong?

SON: I just don't know why I'm cleaning.

DAD: You don't know why you're cleaning your room and bathroom that you use?

SON: NO!! I don't!

(SOME OTHER THINGS WERE SAID THAT I CAN'T REMEMBER.)

DAD: Maan, your room stinks!

SON: I don't smell anything.

DAD: That's because you've gone "Nose Blind"!!

I laughed so hard, I cried. I may have even snorted a few times. 

My husband was laughing even harder.

My son was not the least bit amused. Rolling his eyes, he walked away to finish his chores.

Transitioning to Online Learning

March 27, 2020

Most of this afternoon has been spent in training...learning about how our district will roll out Phase 2 of our distance learning plan for our Scholars and their parents.

Initially, I was flustered and anxious. But, it didn't take long for our Technology Integration Specialists to ease all my fears. They presented the information in such a way that was extremely easy to understand. They patiently answered our questions and addressed every concern. There were more than 40 teachers on this virtual training session, so there were a lot of questions and concerns. Our Technology Integration Specialists are THE best.

In my opinion, our district has done an amazing job of pacing the implementation of our transition to online learning. I believe the pacing has given most families the time needed to prepare for their new normal as "homeschooling parents"...at least, I hope.

As of Monday, March 30, we implement Phase 2, and I officially become "essential personnel".

My Three Loves

March 26, 2020

I have three loves and they are not family members. Not husband, nor children, nor pets. My three loves are activities...what I love to do...working out, reading, and writing.

Working out have brought me a sense routine and calm if you will. I like to eat, and making healthy choices is not always my forte. But, knowing that I have moved my body in some way makes me feel like I am choosing something healthy for myself.

Writing has given me a way to put on paper what my mind needs to process and what my heart may not understand. It gives me a sense of purpose in these uncertain times.

Reading had always been my first love. I have enjoyed reading ever since I discovered my grandmother's shelves of novels...Agatha Christie, Danielle Steel, V.C. Andrews. Nowadays, I mostly enjoy reading books about teaching. I am currently reading "Get Out of Your Own Way" by Dave Hollis. It's a very insightful book. I don't spend as much time reading as I do writing. I think writing may be taking reading's place in my heart.

Three Haikus: Poetry with Training Wheels

March 25, 2020

I am beginning to think that all I have to write about is the woes associated with the Coronavirus 

and how it has interrupted my routine.

It hit me last night as I was telling Jennifer, in my weekly TeachWrite writing group,

my writing plans for the next week.

Sharon, an amazing writer in the group, mentioned an IG poetry group, and I checked it out.

I didn't feel knowledgeable enough about poetry to try their activities.

But, I was moved to try some different styles of poetry on my own.

Wanna hear it? Here it go!

The Ocean

High tide and low tides

Currents fluxing to and fro

Large billowing waves

Spring

Budding new plant life

Sprouting through fresh, moist soil

Spring is beginning

A Tree

To see the forest

For the greenery abounds

From the timber-filled woodlands