Care and Concern for All My Babies

 As a mom, it is natural to be concerned for your children from the time they are born until forever. It doesn't matter how old your children get or how capable they become, a mom never stops thinking about and worrying about her children.

My 22 years old is a full-time student and soon-to-be graduate of The University of Texas Austin and works a full-time job. The thought her zipping in and out of Austin traffic on I-35 and her having to come home after dark alone keeps me in constant prayer for her safety and well-being.

My 13 years old loves skateboarding, playing video games and being social with his friends. Unfortunately, COVID has required us to strategize his social life. We allow him to spend time at our local skate park, because at least it's outside. I worry, however, that he and the teenagers he meets up with are not always social distancing. Lord, please help him make wise choices and keep him COVID-free.

My 7 month old loves playing fetch, rolling in and eating the grass, and sticking as close to me as possible. He had to go to the emergency room due to a laceration on his ear. I was not thrilled that I had to drop him off and leave him. I wasn't convinced they would take good-enough care of him. He was visibly apprehensive as I handed over his leash, and my heart was heavy until he was back in my cared.

Whether it's my two biological babies or my fur-baby, my worry, care and concern for them will always be the same.

My JOYS of 2020

 My JOYS of 2020

During the month of November I wrote 30 #gratikus about the people, place and things for which I am grateful. I featured some of my poems in a previous post. 

I enjoyed writing these haikus every day, because I learned to slow down, pay attention, and capture moments in time (in the present) that made me be present in the moment.

For the month of December I am reflecting on 31 days of JOY-filled moments from throughout 2020. I have looked back through notebooks and scrolled through photos to recollect and relive the excitement and joy felt at that time.

Despite all that COVID has brought with it in 2020, I am choosing to end this year reflecting on all that is and was good. 

One of my greatest JOYs from 2020 was becoming a member of the #100daysofnotebooking Facebook group, because I developed a daily writing habit.

I wrote a notebook entry every day for the first 100 days of 2020 and beyond, and I have continued to this day. I am proud to be ending this year the way I started it...writing.

The notebooks that have captured my JOYS of 2020.

 

I Feel Pretty

 There was a time

when I would spend all day

on a Saturday

getting my hair done.

I remember feeling so pretty afterward.

    

 

As I have gotten older,

time has gotten more valuable.

I spend about 25 minutes

in the barber's chair.

I leave feeling just as pretty.

Hard Is Hard

Hard is Hard

I'm not sure which is harder...

• Teaching remotely and trying to get Scholars to respond during the "We Do" portion of the "district/campus-mandated" Gradual Release of Responsibility Model.
  

OR

• Seeing someone hurting and not being able to put your arms around them and attempt to assure them everything will be okay.

BOTH are equally hard. One, mentally. One, emotionally.

In that moment, I did what I could. I stood 3 feet away, cried with her, and prayed.

Feng Shui

Feng Shui

Writing Toward Home by Georgia Heard

"...a place steeped in creative energy and harmony."

"Feng Shui is intertwined with the Chinese idea of ch'i or 'life force'."

There are primarily 3 places, spaces in and around my home that I find have the balance and harmony required for my getting words on the page.

1. My home office with its grayish-green walls, towering bookcases, and random (not-so-random) clutter.

2. The right side, the right cushion of "my" oversized couch. My pillow, borrowed from the downstairs guest room, and my silk blanket lay in that space when I am not there. They are a constant reminder of the coziness and comfiness I experience when I plant my butt in that space to write. (Naps may or may not happen on occasion on "my" couch, also.)

3. There are times, when Texas is not located directly next to the sun, in which I will spend some time on my back patio, enjoying the sights and sounds of nature while I write.

Maybe, once Coronavirus is no longer a thing (if ever), I can add more places and spaces of balance and harmony to this list.

Watching TV Is Different

April 7, 2020

COVID-19 has changed everything...social distancing, surgical masks, latex gloves, and sheltering-in-place.

COVID-19 has impacted the very thoughts I think. I can't even watch TV the same.

Sitcoms, movies, and even commercials, in my mind, have been exposed...infected.

The characters should be social distancing...

"They're not 6 feet apart!!"

They are speaking to and touching each other...

unmasked and ungloved.

I keep replaying in my mind my daughter's imitation of

Cardi B's, 

"CORONAVIRUS!!! CORONAVIRUS!!!"

I HATE THAT MY THOUGHTS ARE CONSUMED WITH COVID-19.

Today, I Am Not Okay

March 31, 2020

Today, I filled an entire notebook page with my feelings and emotions. I am usually the who encourages everyone else to stay positive; trying to reassure people that everything is going to be okay. I guess I thought I had my own emotions in check. I am convinced that finding a way to be positive through this is important and beneficial, but today, I am not okay.

Today, I am anxious...at least, I think that's what I'm feeling. I am tense from head to toe. I want to cry. I feel so sad, and I just can't shake it. 

I know and I believe in the power of prayer, and I have and I will continue to pray.  But today, I needed to give how I am feeling a name. Today, I needed to validate for myself that I am not okay and that it is okay to not be okay.

Today, I filled an entire notebook page with words that express my feelings and emotions. I am not sure how much of it I will post in the notebooking group. But, writing it down helped...some.